The Imaginary: 056
<2004-03-04~06>
I am power
I exist to resist ….
I swirl and weave together several bands of dark emotion. The fine stream illuminates my new ribbon, and a nebular butterfly flutters away towards the infinite.
At this moment, I open my mouth and interrupt my mother.
‘Do you think you’re actually helping him now?’
Another ray sears the corner of my mantle. I reflect it back: a rainbow in the night sky over the Pacific.
‘Right … your pretty good at shouting—when will you learn to listen?’
This last pirouette will probably end up as a cyclone over the Mediterranean tomorrow ….
Tomorrow is tomorrow; and in the timelessness of this instant, I am marvelling at the flowershower raining upon the Universe.
‘How do you expect him to respect you? You are not even able to settle your money matters peacefully ….’
This has been going on for countless millennia; and over the last ten, it has become particularly intense. At times, I perceive myself as a dancer in an empty ballroom. Faster than an eyeblink, my partners arrive, I bestow my entire self on them, they reach transcendance and depart, faster than an eyeblink. Only I remain—
This talk—this contest in yelling, I correct myself—will be just the same …. The same worn-out arguments, the same failure of communication—a thousand past talks re-echoed …. I sometimes feel it’s hopeless. I try to explain, to point out the inherent Love and Beauty in all things; they come, they listen—those who have the Heart to hear—or they try to outshout me; and they go. I can’t help feeling that I am—
—Alone. Destined to be alone—until Eternity comes and covers all ….
I gently close the door that I have slammed mentally, and I gulp down my tears. Not this time; not in my eyes!
So peaceful is the night sky …. And—or have I forgotten to wipe my glasses again?—there seems to be a rainbow in the east ….
A sudden impulse wraps my mantle around me, and I dart down.
Down and down and down—through the atmosphere: a blazing wish for all who are awake to behold me—and make a wish ….
I stretch my left arm towards the heavens, with a tiny smile … and she touches me
and I dart back to my eternal arena, the ballroom where I teach—and learn from—all the dancers in the Universe ….
You are not alone…