Цялото
Прекалено дълго отбягва ме болката.
Прекалено много се вдигнах над нея.
И когато най-после дойде, народи
цял куп пре-преживяни неща.
(Прекалено-премного-Прекрасно…)
Тъй наситени, че стоя и трептя
– и, в очите ми, онова пак дете,
дето иска Луната да гушне
и лети с Еднорога
по меки пътеки,
и се смеят с гласа на Нощта,
дето не пише и не разказва,
а поглъща Света, със душа…
И мечтае да бъде помилвано,
а е помилвало цялата Нощ,
целия Свят,
цялото…
цялото…
The Role of Active Listening in Conflict Resolution:
An Interpersonal Communication Perspective
<2001>
ABSTRACT
The purpose of active listening in conflict resolution is to gain and demonstrate understanding of the other, which will serve as a basis for reaching joint decisions and ultimately resolving a conflict. In order to succeed in this, active listening has to address common problems in oral interpersonal communication. This essay examines the ways in which the techniques of clarification, paraphrasing, summarizing, reflection and digging deal with communication pitfalls. It also draws our attention to the underlying need for awareness of our listening shortcomings.
Even though active listening belongs as a concept to the field of interpersonal oral communication, it has turned into a prominent subject of studies only with the advent of conflict resolution. Conflict resolution has emerged as an area of general interest within the past thirty years, mainly as a consequence of the advancements in transport and technologies and the resulting opportunities for global political and economic interactions. Its rapid development has been fuelled by the growing awareness of the limitations of traditional negotiation (based on positional bargaining) and the search for more productive negotiating methods that will bring mutually satisfactory and long-lasting outcomes. Nowadays conflict resolution is applied across a wide range of situations, from ethnic conflicts on an international scale, such as the tension between Bosnians, Serbs and Croats in the wake of the 1995 war, to local disagreements, such as a clash between the management and the workers in a factory, to interpersonal conflicts, e.g. between roommates in a residence. The recognition of its effectiveness and versatility has drawn considerable attention to the techniques that constitute it. This essay examines active listening both as a technique of conflict resolution and in the light of the underlying interpersonal communication issues.
Active listening has been widely recognized as the most important tool of conflict mediation and negotiation.[i] The key role of active listening is justified by its purpose: to generate a profound understanding of the other’s concerns and motives, which will provide the basis for exploring mutually acceptable solutions and eventually resolving the conflict. In order to achieve such understanding, active listening has to address the common problems in oral communication; here we shall examine the ways in which the techniques of clarification, paraphrasing, summarizing, reflection and digging seek to overcome communication obstacles. In addition to gaining understanding, active listening serves to demonstrate that we understand the other and thus builds mutual trust, which can be as important as the understanding itself for reaching a satisfactory outcome. Finally, the effectiveness of listening depends on our awareness of the listening shortcomings we have; and with the increase of awareness we can overcome the inner limitations that shape our perception of the world.
Excerpt from “The Assassination”
by Johan Vladimir
| Version 1 (December 2005) | Version 4.5 (April 2012) |
| I averted my eyes toward the boy. While I was going up the cliff, I would have passed along without recognizing him. His wanton tresses were wrapped in a colourful turban. His cheeks were sunken and in his eyes the fire of madness was burning. His slender body was covered with a grubby cloak with an embroided crescent. They have told me that his name was already Iskender.
– Obey, Holy Father – his voice was trembling. – And ask Cheleby’s forgiveness… – I’m obedient, holy prince! I’m obedient to one master and every day in my prayers I ask his forgiveness. Everything what is going to happen is of his will. – They are going to kill you! They won’t be ashamed to kill you! And then why all that was? Why did we surrender the town? Why did we reconcile us to it? Wasn’t it you who wanted we to reconcile and to accept God’s will… – To put up with the lot in store for you is one thing. To obey to an earthly master, however, is completely different. It’s a pity that I haven’t thought you to make difference between these two things. Get away! It’s a shame for me to look at you! |
I turned my eyes to the boy. While I was going up the cliff, I had passed by without recognizing him. His wanton black tresses were wrapped in a colorful turban. His cheeks were sunken and in his eyes the fire of madness was burning. His slender body was wrapped in a grubby cloak with an embroidered crescent. They had told me his name was already Iskender1.
“Obey, Holy Father.” His voice was trembling. “And ask Çelebi’s forgiveness.” “I obey, most noble prince! I obey to one master and every day I ask his forgiveness in my prayers. Everything that shall happen is of his will.” “They are going to kill you! They won’t shy away from killing you! And then why was all that? Why did we surrender the city? Why did we resign ourselves? Wasn’t it you who wanted us to resign ourselves and accept God’s will?” “To resign oneself to Divine Predestination is one thing. To obey an earthly master is another. It is a pity I have not been able to teach you to discern between the two, Alexander. Go away. To look at you, fills me with shame.” |
| For a second the air satiated with hot, heavy moisture. Behind the barely visible clouds in the black sky a burning chariot with two orange-red horses dashed straight down. From my place I couldn’t make out Ilia from among the flames, or his bow shooting the lightning bolts. The chariot together with the horses unloaded itself on the main dome of the Residence. The glass glared, broke and fell with thunder.
Rain started to pour. From all over the hill flew dragons like a covey of scared swallows. They attacked the chariot in pairs or made a living shield above the residence. Ilia was infuriated. He whizzed, adroitly gliding through them and shot as without any target. I knew he couldn’t hold their resistance long. It seemed that his targets were not the dragons, but some land objects visible only to him. I was like spell bound. People flocked on the alley. The young couple was shouting and clapping. |
In seconds, the air thickened, hot and heavy with moisture. From behind the clouds, barely visible in the black sky, dashed down a burning chariot with a pair of horses flaming in vermilion. From my place I could not make out Elijah among the flames, or his bow shooting the lightning bolts. The chariot, together with the horses, crashed into the main dome of the Residence. The glass flared up, broke and fell with thunder.
Rain rushed down. From all over the hill, zmeys flew like a skein of scared swallows. They attacked the chariot in pairs or made a live shield above the residence. Elijah was furious. He whizzed, adroitly gliding among them and shooting without taking aim. I knew he could not resist their assault long. It seemed that his targets were not the zmeys, but some land objects visible only to him. I stood there, watching bewitched. People flocked on the alley. The young couple nearby was shouting and clapping. |
|
I bent over the icon. I didn’t have to struggle to speak lower; my voice stumbled as I began: “Holy… Holy one… Holy Great-Martyr George,” I leaned closer. I felt a strong pull, then the invisible grip relaxed. I raised a hand to my forehead to open the passage. Then moved it lower, towards my heart, to give him a direction. Next my fingers slid from the left shoulder to the right, to give him consistency. “Appear in the name of God!” I stepped backwards jerkily because the moment he appeared, he leaped. It was not even a leap: more like a flight. He crossed the distance between me and Shar flying and cut the closest of her slumped heads with a lightning blow. I covered my ears involuntarily with the pages of the book as if I could drown the piercing scream of a child that echoed in my mind… My guard in the chambers was reduced to two viteks now. One of them rushed forward and the other scream frantically at his transmitter. There was nothing they could do to help her. Still Shar lifted her enormous body and lashed her tail at George throwing him about ten feet away. He fell and rolled but in a moment was back on his feet. He swung and drove his sword to the hilt into the stomach of the swooping vitek. Then drew it out to receive with it the next blow of the tail. Black blood burst. |
I bent over the icon. I did not have to struggle to speak lower: my voice broke again and again as I began, “Holy… Holy one… Holy Martyr George.” I leaned closer. I felt a strong pull, and then the invisible grip relaxed. I raised a hand to my forehead to open the gateway. Then moved it lower, towards my heart, to give it a direction. Next my fingers swept from the right shoulder to the left, to give it consistency. “Appear, in the name of God!”
I staggered backwards, because the moment he appeared, he leaped. It was not even a leap, it was a flight. He almost flew the distance from me to Shar and with a swift blow of his sword chopped the nearest of her slumped heads. I unconsciously buried my ears between the pages of the book as if I could drown the piercing scream of a child that echoed in my mind. My guard in the chambers was reduced to two vitteks now. One of them rushed forward and the other screamed frantically into his transmitter. There was nothing they could do to help her. Still Shar lifted her enormous body and lashed her tail at George, hurling him some ten feet away. He collapsed and rolled, but in a moment he was back on his feet. He swung and drove his sword to the hilt into the stomach of the swooping vittek. Then he drew it out to parry the next sweep of the tail. Black blood burst out. |
Original: „Атентатът“, Йоан Владимир, 2005
Translated from the Bulgarian and revised by Margarita Stoyancheva, Lora Petrova, Vladimir Poleganov, Kalin M. Nenov, and Richard Freeborn, 2005-2012
Published in Oceans of the Mind #18, 2012
1Iskender: Prince Alexander, son of Tsar Ivan Shishman, converted to Islam after the fall of the capital of Tarnovo in the spring of 1393.–author’s note
Четящи приятели,
Христо Блажев („Книголандия“) и Александър Кръстев („Аз чета“) ни канят да се включим в първото издание на читателските награди „Книга за теб“:
Категориите, в които ще можем да гласуваме, са:
Пълните условия са тук. Ако нещо от прочетеното през изминалата година е отвлякло късче от сърцето и ума ви – участвайте! 🙂
Нуждаем ли се от Природата?
<2003>
През последните няколко години започнах да се питам кои страни от живота ми не зависят от Природата. Дишам въздуха на Земята и пия водата на Земята. Храната ми расте върху земната почва; дрехите ми са направени от земните растения и животните, които се хранят с тях. Домът ми е построен от плътта на Земята: от скалите и минералите, които извличаме от планетата си. Вещите ми, електричеството, което ползвам за готвене, за разходки в Мрежата и за написването на това есе, хартията, върху която изливам вътрешните си търсения – цялото ми съществуване е изградено върху и от ресурсите на Природата. Възможността да се любувам на Природата – на изяществото на водното конче, покоя на хилядолетната мура, палавите скокове на планински водопад – внася вдъхновението и размисъла, които превръщат живота ми в нещо повече от седемдесетгодишно упражнение по оцеляване. С осъзнаването на тези зависимости мислите ми лека-полека се изместиха от въпроса „Нуждаем ли се от Природата?“ към „Как да се отплатя на Природата за всичко, което ми е дала?“. По-долу ще се върна към него.
Малцина наши съвременници ще отрекат, че светът ни е изправен пред колосални екологични проблеми. Непредсказуеми засушавания и наводнения, намаляващи запаси на питейна вода, опустиняване на плодородни земи, замърсяване на въздуха, изчезване на растителни и животински видове и последващият срив на екосистеми – това са все последствия от настоящата властваща парадигма на човешко развитие, която е пренебрегвала, съзнателно или не, ролята или самото присъствие на Природата в битието ни.
Много хора таят надежда, че техническият прогрес и внедряването на технологиите в ежедневието ни ще ни помогнат да се справим с грозящите ни бедствия. С повишаването на жизнения стандарт, смятат те, можем да инвестираме повече средства в научно-техническия прогрес; а напредналите технологии ще ни позволят да създаваме нужните ни продукти по-евтино, по-бързо и с по-малко ресурси. Вече разполагаме със синтетични храни, дрехи и лекарства; измислили сме такива многофункционални материали като пластмасите; с подходящата технология един ден бихме могли сами да синтезираме въздуха и водата – или да дишаме, да утоляваме жаждата си с нещо съвсем различно. Генно модифицирани организми могат да бъдат приспособени към най-суровите природни условия – значи можем да решим проблема със световния глад. Технологиите до голяма степен биха могли да направят Природата ненужен елемент в човешкото битие, фактор, от който не зависим.
Аз откривам два пропуска в горните разсъждения. Първият заляга в основата на идеята за създаване на изкуствени материали. Пластмасите не се правят от вакуум – произвеждаме ги от нефт, земен газ и въглища, все ограничени, изчерпаеми природни ресурси. Маргаринът се прави от животински и растителни мазнини, а много от съвременните лекарства се извличат от билки и растения, взети от Природата. Преди да достигнем до полубожествената фаза, в която свободно ще преобразуваме енергия в материя и обратно и ще превръщаме един химичен елемент в друг при разходи, по-малки от цената на получените елементи, ще продължим да зависим от ресурсите на Природата. Ето защо дори от прагматична гледна точка е по-мъдро да си сътрудничим с Природата, вместо да я експлоатираме или заобикаляме.